He Could Have
by les7091
Summary: Morty finally works up the nerve to ask Rick why he left Beth all those years ago. To his surprise, Rick tells him. But he doesn't tell him what he could have done instead. Rating for language. (Rick may be a bit OOC, but because he is sober{omg what!}) Just a one shot, please review


_**I just got into Rick and Morty, so of course I had to then obsess over theories and fanfiction. This, naturally, leads to my own fic ideas. This one just wouldn't leave me alone. So here it I'd, my first R &M fanfiction! **_

"R-rick?" Morty hesitantly asked as he entered the garage

"What the fuck do you want, Morty? I'm busy" Rick didn't even look away from whatever device he was fiddling with

"Well... Um... Mom- mom is drunk... She told me today is the day... The day grandma died... A-and the day you left" Morty stuttered out. He was greatly afraid to bring this up, but his curiosity outweighed his fear.

Rick suddenly stopped what he was doing and quickly spun around in his chair

"A shitty coincidence... And?" He asked, not looking as uncaring as he sounded

"I-I was just wondering... What happened? W-why did you leave her a-and mom?" Morty almost couldn't speak, he was so nervous. Rick was going to either ignore him, or kick his ass. He just knew it.

Or so he thought. He hadn't seen Rick look that heartbroken since Unity broke up with him.

"I felt like it" Rick seemed to force the words out before turning around again and picking up a tool.

Morty debated just leaving it at that. Rick obviously didn't want to talk about it, otherwise he would have explained long before now. Maybe he didn't have a reason, as he does have a habit of doing things on a whim.

But Morty felt that wasn't true. Rick seemed too upset about it, and he has never had a problem ranting about how he does things just because he can and he feels like it. So why not now?

"Bullshit" The word escaped before Morty could stop it and it sounded much more sure than he would have expected

"Excuse me?" Rick said, dropping his tool again

"I- I said that's bullshit, Rick. Y-you had a reason, and if you won't tell me, you should at least tell mom... She deserves to know" Morty just stared at Rick's back, waiting for an answer or for something to be thrown at him.

"... No she doesn't" Rick muttered so quietly Morty almost didn't hear him

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Rick suddenly jumped up and quickly approached Morty, grabbing him tightly by the shoulders

"What the fuck's so hard for you to u-uuuurp- understand?! I left for a-a shitty reason!" Rick was right in Morty's face, which would usually frighten him, but he noticed something

"Rick, you... You haven't been drinking today" Morty knew the smell of alcohol well, from his time spent in the ship, which was full of alcohol bottles, and from his time with Rick, who always reeked of it. Except for right now.

Rick removed his hands and took a few steps back

"You don't know shit, Morty. Leave me the hell alone"

"N-no! I want to know" For once, Morty was going to put his foot down, especially since Rick wasn't drinking. He was always more violent and mean when he was drunk

"You've done so many shitty things, Rick! Killing people, destroying planets, d-destroying _galaxies_ and you're always so indifferent about it all, but this is too much f-for you to talk about?" Morty was getting frustrated, and Rick was getting more upset... Morty wanted to know why. "You abandoned your daughter, Rick! You've also abandoned her in C-137 and you have no problem talking about that!"

"Y-you think I wanted to leave her, you little shit!? She was my baby girl! S-she meant more to me than anything ever had before! I didn't know I was capable of loving that much! Then her fucking mother! That bitch ruined it, ruined everything!" Morty had seen Rick this upset before, but while he was drunk off his ass. As far as Morty could tell, he was sober and he was upset in a totally different way than he was used to

"Sh-she knew what she was getting into, being with me! She knew I had problems, but she ignored it; said it would be okay!"

"Alright, Rick, calm down and let's just talk" Morty suggested

"I don't want to talk at all! I want to forget it all, but nothing will let me!" Rick finally sat back down, putting his elbows on his workbench and his fingers in his hair, pulling tight.

Morty said nothing, he just stood, waiting for... he didn't know what he was waiting for, but he didn't want to leave Rick alone. Eventually, he moved closer to Rick, sitting on the floor in the corner next to him.

They stayed like that for a long time. Eventually Rick's breathing slowed, and returned to normal. Morty didn't say anything, and didn't even look at his grandpa. They just sat in silence

"Your mother... She was a pretty fucked up kid... K-kinda like You" Rick finally said. He hadn't moved any, he was still looking straight down at his work bench "She didn't have many friends. She asked me to make some pretty fucked up toys for her. I always did it, though... I-I could never tell her no. Her mom found out about them, and got really pissy"

Morty didn't say anything, and continued to look away

"She said I wasn't thinking- I was going to hurt our daughter and I wasn't spending enough time with them. That all I did was science all day... we started fighting. W-we fought a lot, Morty. More than your parents"

That's a lot of fighting, Morty thought, but he kept all his comments to himself

"I started drinking... That just made it all worse... She told me I had to stop-stop drinking, and stop my science... or leave. She made me leave, Morty. She kicked me out. I-I wanted to tell Beth what a bitch her mother was, but... She couldn't lose both parents. If I told her, she would want to come with me, but I couldn't take care of her alone. If I told her and made her stay with her mother, she would hate us both"

Halfway through speaking, Rick started fiddling with his device again, not getting anything done because his hands were shaking too bad

"I-It was better if she just hated me. She could be happier without me, anyway. She made friends after I left. Sh-she wasn't the girl with the crazy dad anymore. Sh-she could be normal... Nothing mattered to me anymore, so when I discovered inter-dimensional travel, I made the universe my bitch"

There was silence again, while Morty thought about what Rick said, and Rick regretted saying anything at all.

"So what made you come back?" Morty asked. It was a few years after grandma died that Rick returned

"It takes time for news to travel in space, Morty... I came back as soon as I found out"

"Oh..." Now that he knew, Morty wasn't sure what to say "Well... Thanks" Morty decided to return to the house and leave Rick in peace.

"Morty" Rick's voice made Morty stop immediately

"D-don't tell your mother"

"Why not? It wasn't your fault" Morty was confused; wouldn't telling his mother make Rick feel better, her knowing her father didn't leave without reason?

Rick didn't answer. He couldn't, and he had already revealed far too much.

And he still couldn't admit that he didn't have to leave his daughter.

He could have stopped the science, he had many other job opportunities. He could have stopped drinking, which in the end caused far more fights than the science. Every year on this day he went without drinking to prove to himself that he could. To prove he didn't have to leave.

He could have stayed and helped raise his daughter.

Could have helped her do better in school and become a human surgeon.

Could have scared Jerry away before he could impregnate her.

Could have helped her find somebody worthy of her.

He could have...

But he didn't


End file.
